yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
porn star boner night. come get it.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
