you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
