a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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