pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
