he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
