I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
