Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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