You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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