i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
She told me I should be a condom model.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
