Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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