I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
There r osticjed everywhere
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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