If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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