There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
