I'm gonna have a badass scar
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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