yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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