The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Operation Purity has been aborted
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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