i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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