Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Randomize
