I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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