So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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