I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
