saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
