I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
