Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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