this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
