ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
