I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
