I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
