Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize