i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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