That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
