there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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