Umm I'm too high to move.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
