I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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