I wish I could punch you in the face.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
