dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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