if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I came so hard my ears popped.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
