That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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