did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
