We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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