Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
