Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
