absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
