if you like me you must not know who I am
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
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