I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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