I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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