we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
All I want is dick and wine.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
