Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
