You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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