I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
