well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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