it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
