She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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