i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
