I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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