i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
