I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
