Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
