I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
