I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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